Your Vagina Isn't Just Too Big, Too Floppy, and Too Hairy—It's Also Too Brown

Good news, ladies! Society has discovered another new thing that's wrong with you, which means another opportunity for you to make yourself more attractive for your man. Score! Turns out, the color of your vagina is gross and everyone hates it. So bleach that motherfucker. Bleach it right now! In this commercial for an Indian product called Clean and Dry Intimate Wash, a (very light-skinned) couple sits down for what would have been a peaceful cup of morning coffee—if the woman's disgusting brown vagina hadn't ruined everything! The dude can't even bring himself look at her. He can't look at his coffee either, because it only reminds him of his wife's dripping, coffee-brown hole! Fortunately, the quick-thinking woman takes a shower, scrubbing her swarthy snatch with Clean and Dry Intimate Wash ("Freshness + Fairness"). And poof! Her vadge comes out blinding white like a downy baby lamb (and NOT THE GROSS BLACK KIND) and her husband—whose penis, I can only assume, is literally a light saber—is all, "Hey, lady! Cancel them divorce papers and LET'S BONE." Needless to say, certain citizens are troubled by this product—which, in addition to just being fucking insane, brings up painful issues about the hierarchy of skin tone within the Indian community. As if it isn't bad enough that darker-skinned people are encouraged to stay out of the sun and invest in skin-bleaching products like Fair & Lovely, and that white actresses are being imported to play Indian people in Bollywood movies, now everyone has to be insecure about the fact that their vaginas happen to be the color that vaginas are??? Splendid! God, I was just saying the other day that my misogyny didn't have enough racism in it. So what are the pro-vadge-bleaching people thinking? Here's a hilarious explanation from a male ad exec: It is hard to deny that fairness creams often get social commentators and activists all worked up. What they should do is take a deep breath and think again. Lipstick is used to make your lips redder, fairness cream is used to make you fairer-so what's the problem? I don't think any Youngistani today thinks the British Raj/White man is superior to us Brown folk. That's all 1947 thinking! The only reason I can offer for why people like fairness, is this: if you have two beautiful girls, one of them fair and the other dark, you see the fair girl's features more clearly. This is because her complexion reflects more light. I found this amazing difference when I directed Kabir Bedi, who is very fair and had to wear dark makeup for Othello, the Black hero of the play. I found I had to have a special spotlight following Kabir around the stage because otherwise the audience could not see his expressions. See? It makes perfect sense. We just want our vaginas to reflect more light—is that so wrong? I mean, WHAT IF MY CAR BREAKS DOWN AT NIGHT AND I DON'T HAVE A REFLECTIVE ENOUGH VAGINA? Really, the ultimate one-vagina-to-rule-them-all would glow in the dark like one of those deep-sea fishes. I need my vagina to attract more krill so my husband will fuck me again! (My husband is a whale.) Basically the idea is to get as far away as possible from any color that vaginas actually come in. Because that's what's at the heart of this type of thinking—the perfect vagina would be something that's not a vagina at all.

thank each and every one of you, every beautiful person in the building, every legend, every historical human being. You know, every future legend in the building, man.

 

Man. I love y’all, man. I hope this table don’t fall and everything stays smooth. First off, NYU I want to say I love you. And thank each and every one of you, every beautiful person in the building, every legend, every historical human being. You know, every future legend in the building, man. I’m in the building with the future. Y’all going to be helping me when things get hard for me. That’s what I hope. I hope everybody leaves this conversation together feeling like family. This is not everybody listening to me, this is everybody is a part of it. If you feel compelled to say something in your heart, please do, because at the end of the day we all have something to teach, and we all have something to say. I want to come to this with a story that I feel symbolizes everybody in the building. This happened to me two days ago. I’m going to the gas station and this older guy—he looks like he’s about 70. Me generalizing and stereotyping, I asked him, “Yo, excuse me sir, how you doing? What has changed for you in the last years? From like when you was younger until now?” And he was like, “You really wanna know?” And I was like, “Yes, sir, I really want to know.” And he was like, “You know what has changed?” And he was like, “Your attitude.” And that was deep, bro! That was deep! I feel that represents us all of us today. I thank y’all for not judging me and being able to respect us being humans. That’s what we should all be able to do. I specialize in love. A lot of people wonder, the small majority who don’t understand wonder why Lil B would be here. But you know, it’s good. I love to spread love, you know. That’s what I’m here to do. This is the big thing I want to speak on to set the tone: Nobody in this building asked to be born. You didn’t ask to be you, bro. I didn’t ask to be me. I didn’t ask to have this skin. I didn’t ask to be who I was, bro. Nobody in here asked that. The beautiful people? Your beautiful parents made you, bro. You didn’t ask for that. You didn’t ask to live where you live or anything. So when you see people, forgive them and accept, you feel me? You gotta open your mind and say, man, nobody asked to be born. Life is hard, kinda. Ay, bruh, I love you positively. I love all y’all. With relationships and women and being together and everybody, man, it’s just like… It’s just real. I’m just happy you guys are getting the real me. No pen, no pad. I didn’t script a speech. I come here and all I can do is be myself and spread love. But with relationships and stuff man, I’m just taking it slow. Taking it easy. A lot of things are happening real fast and I’m just taking my time and respecting women, respecting others. I mean, but that’s obvious, though. To respect women is obvious, yo. And a big thing I’ve been thinking about is the tone with a lot of people I meet and the media, I see it’s a lot of: If you get hit, you hit back. Why is that? Real recognize real, bro. You get blessed out of situations. I did that situation because I wanted the world to see that you can have a million stones thrown at you and you can still be positive. You know, that was kind of embarrassing. I had a lot of hood credibility [makes quotation marks in the air]. I had a lot of imaginary hood respect. But you know, at the end of the day, it’s no respect in being violent or a coward for no reason. It’s no honor in picking on people. It’s no honor in senseless violence. It’s no honor in war. But at the end of the day, I look at animals and insects. You know I’m the first rapper to adopt a tabby cat. You know I adopted straight from the ASPCA, you feel me? Just breaking the boundaries, man, showing everybody it’s okay to be yourself. Embrace yourself. Embrace your health. Ayyy! Just continue to love yourself and accept. I can’t lie, when I was younger I loved the media. I believed the media. I can say I was a product of my environment. You know, you grow up. I remember when I was younger, I didn’t know how to walk. I was so young, I was wondering how I was walking. Am I walking weird? Something’s in my butt? You know what I mean? But really so conscious, though. So hard on myself. And I say through time and love it’s just easing up on yourself, easing up on life. It’s a lot of words people have given so much power. When I mean things to be specific, it’s that tone of you hit me I hit you. That’s not right. The new generation as I see it, how I hold my integrity, why I conduct myself in the way I do—people see me and they say, “He didn’t retaliate or taunt that man, and he could have.” There are people that love me. People were upset. But just because somebody wants to fight you for no reason, or because somebody says something to you, you can forgive that person. I’d be that guy’s friend. You’ve gotta move on and be positive. We’re way past dwelling. I spread that love. Keep it and don’t be hard on yourself with anything, how you look to your weight to wanting to complete what your parents want you to be. Don’t stress so hard. Pat yourself on the back. You’re at NYU. Congratulations. What you guys are doing is very brave. Everybody that is going through school, you’ve made a huge sacrifice. All the staff, all the beautiful students, everybody that’s here to teach. Shouts out to everybody that’s here for learning and love and trying to find their way. I mean, shit. I mean, shoot. We’re all trying to find our way. I want to thank you for embracing and accepting me, like really. I love you. I want to show: have friends of all creeds, all colors, all races. Stop saying, black, white, this, that—we’re all human. Now I don’t know everything. This is my philosophy. But I feel like things are just generalizations. Drop all that. Stop giving negative words so much power. Instead of saying, “Hey, look at him, he’s black,” just say, “Hey, where are you from? What is your nationality?” Just take two seconds instead of generalizing, because, I promise you, I looked up what black means online, and black means something like coal, you feel me? We all got problems too, bro, real talk. We all can have something that we can relate to. Make sure you can relate and have a common. And if you do feel too different, make sure you respect the people. Give people a chance to come in your heart. I know why a lot of people don’t trust people. You know why? There’s a lot of mean, bad people out here. A lot of people don’t have a value on their own life. They don’t have a value on how blessed we are to be alive. Our generation right here, we’re on a class of earth together. This is our class. All of us are going to be like, “Hey, remember 20 years ago when we did that?” Don’t be hard on each other. Let your friends have fun. Work hard and do what you do because we’ve only got one life to live. That is scary, you know. It’s scary and it’s really real, it’s really true. It just makes me appreciate people. Appreciate every single person. Look at them like a golden, million-dollar baby. Ay, bruh, I’ma tell you the real secrets of life, bruh. Ay, bruh, feel me, bruh, I got the real secrets. For real, bro. For real. Real talk: the secrets of life? Look at everybody like they’re a baby. Remember like, man, we’re young. Don’t be so hard on people. We’re just little baby insects or mammals or whatever. You feel me? I tell you, bruh, I was looking at insects. I do my observations when I go out. If I become a neurosurgeon or I’m about to come into some bugs, I’m rocking. With the bugs, man, you just be looking at them. Because I was having these big ant problems in my house. It was crazy. And these are people in their own way, too. As I was studying these ant colonies infesting my house daily, I’m not kidding you, I left food out and 20 minutes later r-r-r-r-r and I’m like, man, they already know! They get it down pat! And real talk, like, seeing these ants and studying them and respecting them, it’s like, man, they’re in their own community too. They’re trying to survive. They love. They fight. They telling themselves something. We can’t understand, but one day we will. I’m trying hard to figure it out. I’m there with them. We’re very smart animals, you know, or whatever we are. Organisms? What are we? What do y’all think we are? Is there like a fact? Does anybody have any proof what we are? Live that life, experience it, travel, and come up with your theories man. Read the books, too, but experience your own. It’s crazy. Some of the things I think about on the daily: I just want my people to be safe. [Audience member: "What you think about, bro?!"] Safety, man. And real talk, everybody make sure you wear seat belts, for real.

Laser attacks on planes are surging, warn aviation officials

 

The Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) is warning of a global surge in laser attacks on planes after almost 2,000 incidents were reported in the UK last year. There were 153 incidents at Heathrow in 2011 involving lasers being shone towards aircraft. The second most affected airport was Manchester with 148 incidents, while Birmingham had 143 and Glasgow 107. Liverpool's John Lennon airport had 90 incidents. Throughout the UK last year, the CAA said there were a total of 1,909 incidents, whereas in 2005 there were just 20. At John Lennon airport, a crew member was temporarily blinded as the plane landed following a laser being shone into the aircraft. In October last year, a jumbo jet whose pilot was trying to correct an error after dropping to 300 metres (1,000ft) had a laser shone at it. Incidents in Liverpool peaked during a five-week period last summer, when there were 30 separate laser reports made by pilots who were passing over residential areas as they prepared to land. A CAA spokesman said: "We are currently seeing a global surge in incidents of lasers being deliberately shone at aircraft on final approach to airports. "The aviation industry and the police are doing everything possible to combat the problem and we strongly urge anyone who sees a laser being shone in the night sky near an airport to contact the police immediately." He added: "It's a serious problem and has been getting worse over the last three years. Largely due to the availability of lasers on the internet and the relatively cheap price." Since 2010, shining a laser or light at an aircraft in flight has been a specific criminal offence. The CAA said it needed the public's help to stop the potentially dangerous attacks and urged anyone to contact the police if they witnessed lasers being pointed at planes. The CAA said UK aviation enjoyed an "excellent" safety record because of an open culture of reporting incidents. A spokesman for John Lennon airport said incidents involving flights were few and far between. He said: "JLA is extremely proud of its safety record, which for the period 2007-2011 includes almost 400,000 aircraft movements, accommodating in excess of 25 million fare-paying passengers. "The report from the CAA relating to Liverpool John Lennon airport needs to be put into context as it will include all manner of incidents, many far less serious than others, as well as including incidents occurring away from the airport, but relating to aircraft that originated from here or heading to Liverpool." Ryanair and easyJet flights were targeted as they came in to land at Liverpool at altitudes as low as 150 metres (500ft). One pilot described how the laser "lit up the cockpit" and had a "significant impact" on the flight crew's night vision. An Airbus jet was targeted twice with the first officer's vision "impaired" by the strength of the beam. The captain of another flight needed a medical checkup after "a direct strike to the right eye". In February 2010, a 16-year-old was fined £250 after admitting to shining a laser pen, purchased on eBay for £8, into the cockpit of an easyJet flight from Belfast to Liverpool.

Crisis-hit Greece rents police for €30 per hour

Greece is offering a ‘cop-for-hire’ service, renting out policemen for €30 per hour, plus €10 if you want a police car too. It triggered fears that security of people who cannot afford a policeman for hire may be affected in favor of those who can. This new way for the cash-strapped Greek state to raise money will "pay for the cost of using police materials and infrastructure, and allow to modernize them", the Ministry of Citizen Protection said in a statement. The Police services on offer were previously used in "exceptional cases" – escorting the transportation of dangerous material or art works and were free of charge. Now, Police services have a price-tag. If you need something special the hourly fee for patrol boats is €200, and €1500 for helicopters, according to the Proto Thema newspaper. Even though the ministry said it would only accept such hires if they do not affect the security forces' operational capacity, only those with the cash will benefit from the initiative. The newspaper says the less wealthy will be left to deal with crime by themselves. The financial crisis left Greece with rising unemployment, a fast-growing crime rate and a surge in illegal immigration. Security has substantially deteriorated in the Greek capital in recent years, with previously safe and calm neighborhoods of the city becoming literally off limits after nightfall.

Vinnie Jones heads to Marbella

Vinnie Jones is heading to Marbella for a role as a twisted garrotte killer. The British actor and ex-footballer – who was once given a yellow card after just three seconds on the pitch – will play a lead in gangster movie Shill, to be filmed entirely on the ‘Costa del Crime’. “Jones plays Branch, a guitar-playing nutter who chokes his victims with his strings,” said Shill writer and producer Paul Grimshaw, who based the film on his own experiences. The Shill actors will meet investors at Marbella Film Festival in October this year, with filming set for spring 2013. “We’ll be filming over a six-week period which will be a chance for some real star-spotting in Marbella,” said Grimshaw, who has worked as an estate agent in Marbella for 20 years. The film – also likely to star Tom Hardy – focuses on ‘shill bidding’, online fraud which involves falsely inflating prices of goods sold on auction sites such as eBay. Having made ten million pounds in cash, the team embark on a spending spree to Marbella to hide the money from the law. But after Shill makes a deal with crime baron Drake, a bloody and brutal mutiny is unleashed

Man in court on murder bid charge

 

A man will appear in court charged with attempted murder following a bottle attack at a celebrity-packed party thrown by smartphone company BlackBerry. A 37-year-old man remains in a critical condition in hospital following the incident at Pulse nightclub in Southwark, central London. Ashley Charles, 25, of Nevanthon Road, Leicester, will appear at Camberwell Green Magistrates' Court in connection with the incident. The party on Tuesday night was attended by journalists, celebrities including rapper Wretch 32 and stars of The Only Way Is Essex and BlackBerry competition winners. Brit award-winning singer Jessie J had been performing at the party before the bloody brawl and spoke of her shock on Twitter.

Emails sent to the Big Pictures agency in 2010 and 2011 contained the flight details of dozens of celebrities, including Madonna, Princess Beatrice and Sienna Miller.

Richard Branson's airline Virgin Atlantic is under mounting pressure to explain how an insider was apparently able to pass the confidential flight details of as many as 70 celebrities to a major paparazzi agency. Emails sent to the Big Pictures agency in 2010 and 2011 contained the flight details of dozens of celebrities, including Madonna, Princess Beatrice and Sienna Miller. Some of the figures alleged to be affected are friends of Sir Richard and his family and the allegations could prove hugely embarrassing for the tycoon, who is known for his close ties to the world of show business. A senior employee is understood to have resigned on Thursday after initial allegations that she passed on the flight details of eight celebrities including the singer Cheryl Cole and her former husband, the Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole, singer Robbie Williams and actress Scarlett Johansson. The airline launched an internal investigation and insisted it had "robust processes in place to ensure that passenger information is protected". But yesterday another cache of emails came to light that suggested that dozens more famous passengers may have been subject to the privacy breach. Emails seen by the Press Gazette contained the flight details of dozens of celebrities ranging from film stars Charlize Theron and Kate Winslet to Top Gear presenters Jeremy Clarkson and James May. The emails, sent over several months, suggest a degree of familiarity between the two correspondents. In one, Big Pictures allegedly wrote to the Virgin insider, understood to be a supervisor of Upper-Class passengers, saying it was "trying to sort you out some money with accounts". One email, reportedly containing details of a return flight from Heathrow to Newark taken by Borat actor Sacha Baron Cohen and his actress wife Isla Fisher, included the comment: "They're in economy!!!!!!" Big Pictures also appears to have been given an anonymous tip-off about a flight taken by people referred to as "Madonna's kids". In a statement issued on Thursday, Virgin Atlantic called the allegations "extremely serious" and said it had launched an immediate investigation. Virgin Atlantic's spokeswoman could not confirm whether Virgin Group chairman Richard Branson would be personally apologising to the celebrities affected and refused to comment any further pending the outcome of an investigation. The allegations are hugely embarrassing for an airline that markets itself as a glamorous alternative to other long-haul carriers and is known to be popular with the rich and famous. Branson is yet to comment publicly. Others who appear to have been affected include Rihanna, Russell Brand, Rob Brydon and Jonathan Ross. Legal experts said that such disclosures may not be a criminal offence. However, solicitors for Ashley Cole and Sienna Miller said they were taking legal instructions over the allegations. No representative of Big Pictures, owned by the former Celebrity Big Brother contestant Darryn Lyons, was available to comment.

Virgin Atlantic employee has resigned following allegations she routinely fed information about the airline's celebrity clientele

 

Virgin Atlantic employee has resigned following allegations she routinely fed information about the airline's celebrity clientele — from Madonna to Sienna Miller — to a paparazzi agency. The employee was a junior member of the team that looks after high-profile clients, Virgin said Friday. She quit Thursday before reports published in the Guardian and the Press Gazette alleged that she had passed the booking information of more than 60 celebrities on to the Big Pictures photo agency. Among those allegedly targeted: Britain's Princess Beatrice; singers Madonna and Rihanna; actors Charlize Theron, Kate Winslet, Daniel Radcliffe and Miller; comedians Sacha Baron Cohen and Russell Brand; and a slew of U.K. celebrities and sports figures. The Guardian and the Press Gazette cited messages allegedly sent by the employee to someone at Big Pictures Ltd. as the basis for their stories. The Associated Press had no immediate way of verifying the authenticity of the messages, but the Guardian said it had carried out checks confirming that at least some of the celebrities had traveled to the destinations mentioned in the emails. Calls and emails to representatives of around a dozen of the celebrities mentioned went unreturned Friday, a public holiday in Britain. A representative for Princess Beatrice declined comment, while Kate Winslet's publicist, Heidi Slan, said the star wasn't reachable. In a statement, Virgin Atlantic Airways Ltd. called the allegations "extremely serious" and said it had launched an investigation. The airline, which is majority-owned by billionaire adventurer Richard Branson, confirmed that high-profile clients were involved but declined to comment on the British newspapers' figures. A man who answered the phone at London-based Big Pictures hung up when an Associated Press reporter identified himself as a member of the media. Emails sent to company founder Darryn Lyons' personal assistant weren't immediately returned, and no one answered the door at Big Pictures' central London office. The Press Gazette said Big Pictures was first approached for comment more than 48 hours ago but has yet to respond. Neither Virgin nor the newspapers identified the employee in question. The Guardian said it had contacted her on Wednesday and that she had declined comment. It was not clear Friday if authorities had become involved. Virgin refused to say whether it had called in the police and a Scotland Yard spokesman said he wasn't aware of the leak. The Information Commissioner's office — which investigates data breaches in Britain — said in a statement that the agency will need to make further inquiries "to establish the precise nature of the alleged incident before deciding what action, if any, needs to be taken." The past year has seen the sometimes underhanded methods of Britain's media thrust into the spotlight by a scandal over phone hacking at the now-defunct News of the World. Paparazzi have come under particular scrutiny, with public figures including Miller alleging aggressive, intimidating or illegal behavior on the part of celebrity-obsessed snappers. Miller, who testified before a judge-led inquiry into media ethics set up in the wake of the scandal, said she had been terrorized by photographers stalking her every move. "I would often find myself — I was 21 — at midnight running down a dark street on my own with ten big men chasing me and the fact that they had cameras in their hands meant that that was legal," she told the inquiry. "But if you take away the cameras, what have you got? You've got a pack of men chasing a woman and obviously that's a very intimidating situation to be in." Lyons, the founder of Big Pictures, told the same inquiry he had "no reason" to believe his photographers broke rules in pursuit of pictures, batting away suggestions that paparazzi victimize their targets. "The fact of the matter is that celebrities court publicity when they want to court publicity and then all of a sudden they want to switch it off very, very soon after," he told the inquiry. "If you are in the public eye, you are looked up to," he added. "We live in a world of voyeurism."

Addictive painkiller sales surge in new parts of U.S.

Sales of the two most popular prescription painkillers in the United States have exploded in new parts of the country, an Associated Press analysis shows, worrying experts who say the push to relieve patients' suffering is spawning an addiction epidemic. Drug Enforcement Administration figures show dramatic rises between 2000 and 2010 in the distribution of oxycodone, the key ingredient in OxyContin, Percocet and Percodan. Some places saw sales increase sixteenfold. Meanwhile, the distribution of hydrocodone, the key ingredient in Vicodin, Norco and Lortab, is rising in Appalachia, the original epicenter of the U.S. painkiller epidemic, as well as in the Midwest. The increases have coincided with a wave of overdose deaths, pharmacy robberies and other problems in New Mexico, Nevada, Utah, Florida and other states. Opioid pain relievers, the category that includes oxycodone and hydrocodone, caused 14,800 overdose deaths in 2008 alone, and the death toll is rising, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says. Across the U.S., pharmacies received and ultimately dispensed the equivalent of 69 tons of pure oxycodone and 42 tons of pure hydrocodone in 2010, the last year for which statistics are available. That's enough to give 40 5-mg Percocets and 24 5-mg Vicodins to every person in the United States. The DEA data records shipments from distributors to pharmacies, hospitals, practitioners and teaching institutions. The drugs are eventually dispensed and sold to patients, but the DEA does not keep track of how much individual patients receive. The increase is partly due to the aging U.S. population with pain issues and a greater willingness by doctors to treat pain, said Gregory Bunt, medical director at New York's Daytop Village chain of drug treatment clinics. Sales are also being driven by addiction, as users become physically dependent on painkillers and begin "doctor shopping" to keep the prescriptions coming, he said. "Prescription medications can provide enormous health and quality-of-life benefits to patients," Gil Kerlikowske, the U.S. drug czar, told Congress in March. "However, we all now recognize that these drugs can be just as dangerous and deadly as illicit substances when misused or abused." Opioids like hydrocodone and oxycodone can release intense feelings of well-being. Some abusers swallow the pills; others crush them, then smoke, snort or inject the powder. Unlike most street drugs, the problem has its roots in two disparate parts of the country -- Appalachia and affluent suburbs, said Pete Jackson, president of Advocates for the Reform of Prescription Opioids. "Now it's spreading from those two poles," Jackson said. A few areas that include military bases or Veterans Affairs hospitals have seen large increases in painkiller use because of soldier patients injured in the Middle East, law enforcement officials say. Experts worry painkiller sales are spreading quickly in areas where there are few clinics to treat people who get hooked, Bunt said. In Utica, New York, Patricia Reynolds has struggled to find treatment after becoming dependent on hydrocodone pills originally prescribed for a broken tailbone. The nearest clinics offering Suboxone, an anti-addiction drug, are an hour's drive away in Cooperstown or Syracuse. And those programs are full and are not accepting new patients, she said. "You can't have one clinic like that in the whole area," Reynolds said. "It's a really sad epidemic. I want people to start talking about it instead of pretending it's not a problem and hiding."

Freedom near after years in hell but Schapelle Corby is too scared to hope

CONVICTED drug smuggler Schapelle Corby last night said she was "too scared to get my hopes up" after Indonesia's Justice and Human Rights Ministry recommended her jail sentence be slashed by 10 years - meaning she could be back in Australia within weeks. Her family is now anxiously awaiting a decision by Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, who will have the final say on whether Corby is released. From her cell at Bali's Kerobokan prison, Corby last night said she was waiting for more information about the ministry's recommendation. Her sister Mercedes, who was visiting Schapelle when the news broke, said that if Dr Yudhoyono did agree to cut 10 years from Corby's sentence, she would be eligible to go home immediately. "She will have done eight years in October, plus she's had two years reduced in good behaviour, so that's 10 years," she said. "So if another 10 years is cut, she should be pretty much eligible for release immediately." Mercedes said, if released, her sister planned to head straight back to Australia to live with her mother Rosleigh in Queensland. Corby was jailed for 20 years in 2004 for attempting to smuggle 4.1kg of marijuana into Bali in a body board bag. The announcement of the major breakthrough in the former Gold Coast beautician's drug saga came as a "pleasant shock" to Corby and her family yesterday when The Daily Telegraph told them of the ministry's recommendation. Mercedes was at the prison having a small birthday celebration with Schapelle for their younger sister Mele, who had just turned 22. "Oh wow, have they recommended clemency? I hope this is true. I better make some calls," she said. A few hours later Mercedes said the family was "too nervous" to get their hopes up and would await the President's ruling before they celebrated. Corby first launched her bid for clemency two years ago, appealing for an early release on the grounds she was suffering from mental illness which could endanger her life. "She's on anti-psychotics to keep her stable, but she goes up and down," Mercedes said. A Justice Ministry official yesterday revealed the recommendation to slash Corby's sentence was based on humanitarian grounds: "Our office agreed with her clemency. We recommended granting it." Corby's lawyer Iskander Nawing described it as a "huge development" and a breakthrough. The recommendation also includes an approval for clemency from the director-general of prisons. Dr Yudhoyono's decision will be based on the recommendation from the Justice Ministry, as well as advice from the Attorney-General's Department, Foreign Ministry and National Narcotics Board. Print